I'm not sure what happened at Olivia's "learning team meeting" last week, but after her wonderfully written, funny narrative and with both me and her adviser praising her efforts, something took a nosedive. Olivia was talking about how she needs to crumple paper in order to stay focused and the adviser remarked that perhaps Olivia was hiding some of her true feelings, trying to protect herself with her humour and other distractions and the next thing I knew, both Olivia and I were crying. In front of the adviser.
Its been hard to give each of the kids individual attention, and given that Carter is who he is, and that Olivia is at the age when she is off with her friends a lot, she is the one feeling the most deprived. I simply spend more time with Carter, which works in a vicious cycle, with Olivia thinking I don't want to spend time with her, so she spends more time with friends to escape. She also lashes out at Carter which adds to his feelings of insecurity and I am left in no-win hell. I suppose its a common thing, even amongst complete families, but when you are on your own, you have no one to talk you down. Parenting in a bubble.
A few bouts of what I hope were cleansing tears and some discussion have gotten us past the learning team disaster, for now. I like to think its gotten a little better. Both kids are the best of friends tonight, playing like old times. But I know better. These issues are still out there. Looming.