The quick rip

I seem to be making it through the craziness that is September. The 11th was a strange day that left me practically unable to walk for two days. I am always caught off guard by the physical effects of emotion. I did 3 radio interviews and then headed down to KOMO TV station in Seattle and did an interview for TV Ontario's show, The Agenda with Steve Paikin. It was an interesting show, having to do with the idea of "moving on." I am not sure we came to any great conclusions, but it was an interesting discussion. Olivia's presentation was extremely well received. Her teacher told her it was one of the most powerful presentations the eighth grade had ever seen. Other teachers told me how poised and clear and confident she was. A lot of the kids cried. I think she was really proud of herself. She has discovered that she can have a quiet power on this tough day, a lesson that will serve her well in years to come. I have also gotten through another birthday. And coming up on the 29th, what would have been our 18th wedding anniversary. The anniversary always makes me wonder where we might have been now, if Arron were still alive. Would we still be together? Still living in NJ? Would we both still be working the same jobs? The anniversary seems to bring out the "could have's" more than any other event for some reason. I will be spending that day in Vancouver speaking about grief to a group of ALS caregivers. I have no doubt that it will be a humbling experience. In thinking about my audience, I can't help wondering, what is worse? The quick "no goodbye" death, or the slow decline of one's body? Is it like Band Aids? The quick rip, preferable to the slow pull? Is being able to say goodbye to your loved ones and making proper arrangements for your own demise better than not being able to say goodbye? Finally, despite having a blog myself, I have been flung into the world of blogs. I had no idea that so many existed out there. My book will be the subject of a "blog tour" in December, where several (12 actually) blog people will read my book and post reviews on their sites. I will be available to answer questions, which they will post as well. I have discovered some pretty amazing blogs, just in reviewing the ones that are interested in my book. See my page at TLC Book Tours and scroll down the page and click on the "tour stops" links. Seems like there is an entire support network for widowed, single moms that I never knew existed. I am comforted by that.